Download Article

Download Article

Feeling or knowing that your girlfriend no longer loves you lot can be a heartbreaking and frustrating experience. Fortunately, while you can't actually control or alter how your girlfriend feels about y'all, there are things you tin do to help salvage the relationship. Communicate honestly with your girlfriend about where you stand up and what you can both practise to improve things. Try to rekindle your old feelings for each other with pity, intimacy, and romantic gestures. If you don't feel like you tin improve the situation on your own, look into couples counseling or individual therapy.

  1. i

    Communicate with your girlfriend virtually what went wrong. If you desire to repair your relationship with your girlfriend, y'all will need to find out why she feels the mode she does. Ask her if she tin can sit down down with you and take a middle-to-eye chat about how she is feeling and what you tin both do to arrive better.

    • If you and your girlfriend take been fighting, wait until you've both calmed downward before having a discussion. Trying to talk while both of you are upset may lead to more fighting and resentment.[i]
    • You might beginning by telling her how you lot feel, so inviting her to give you her perspective. Use "I" language to express your feelings. For example, "I feel unloved lately, and I'g afraid we might be drifting autonomously. How are you feeling about things between us?"
    • Do your all-time to stay calm and civil, and listen actively to what she has to say.

  2. two

    Avert blaming your girlfriend for problems in the relationship. When things are going wrong, it's easy to start pointing fingers. Instead of blaming her for any problems between you lot, mind to what she has to say with an open up mind. One time you lot permit her take her say, y'all may realize that you lot've been misinterpreting her words and deportment.[2]

    • Even if your girlfriend is at least partly responsible for things going sour between you, blaming her will only put her on the defensive and create a deeper wedge between yous.
    • Putting all the blame on her also takes away your ain agency in the relationship and makes it harder for y'all to focus on making things better.[3]

    Advertisement

  3. 3

    Take responsibility and apologize for your own mistakes. Calmly admit your mistakes to your girlfriend and apologize without making excuses or trying to justify yourself. Recall that taking responsibility doesn't mean blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. It only ways reflecting on your own deportment and recognizing that you there are things y'all may have done that contributed to the rift between the 2 of you.[four]

    • For example, you might say, "Y'all're right, I haven't been as attentive to you lately every bit I should have been. I let myself go too caught up in my own projects and didn't actually think about your needs. I'm sorry, and I'll make an endeavour to do meliorate from at present on."
    • Avoid apologizing in a fashion that puts the blame on your girlfriend or excuses your deportment. For example, don't say something like, "I'one thousand sorry, but you lot shouldn't have frustrated me like that."

  4. 4

    Validate her feelings . Listening to what your girlfriend has to say most what she's feeling may be hard, but it's actually a good thing if she's willing to open up upward to you. Let her know that you lot recognize what she's feeling and respect her right to experience that way. That will go a long style toward showing her that you really care almost her and the relationship.

    • Endeavour showing that you understand what she feels by "reflecting" her feelings dorsum in your own words.
    • For example, if she complains that you spend likewise much time watching TV instead of having quality time with her, say something like, "It sounds like you feel lonely and frustrated when I sentinel TV in the evenings instead of sitting down to chat with you lot over dinner."[5]

  5. 5

    Work together to come upwards with solutions. Once you've pinpointed the primary problems that are driving a wedge between you lot and your girlfriend, ask her if she'd be willing to sit down with you lot and talk almost what you tin both do to make things better. Y'all can offering your ain ideas, only exist sure to inquire for her input and heed carefully to what she has to say.

    • For case, if she's frustrated considering she feels like she'southward doing too much work in the human relationship, talk about ways to split up up your responsibilities more evenly. You could offering to accept turns cooking or washing the dishes, for example.

  6. half dozen

    Make a commitment to alter and stay consistent. Acknowledging the areas where you need to improve and promising to work on them will not exist enough. You need to show your girlfriend through your deportment that you are truly ready to make a change. Make specific promises and follow through on them.

    • For example, possibly your girlfriend has trouble trusting yous because you've been unreliable in the past. Make a indicate of establishing consequent behavior patterns going forward—east.g., if you say you are going to exist home at a certain fourth dimension, make sure you are at that place!
    • If yous practice skid upwards, own upwardly to it and apologize immediately.

  7. 7

    Respect her need for infinite. If things are actually bad between y'all and your girlfriend, she may non even be willing to take a discussion right now. If she doesn't want to talk, don't try to force it—she volition only end upwards feeling smothered and resentful. Instead, reach out and let her know you are willing to talk whenever she'due south ready, then back off and leave her lonely.[6]

    • You might say something like, "I understand that you lot don't feel similar talking about things correct at present. I just wanted to let you lot know that I dear you and actually want u.s.a. to brand this piece of work if we can. I'll be here if you want to talk."

  8. 8

    Accept that you may not exist able to relieve the relationship. Call up that you can't actually command what your girlfriend does or how she feels about you. All you tin can practise is let her know how y'all feel and do your best to show her that you're willing to work on making things better.[7]

    • If your girlfriend does break upwardly with you, respect her decision. Lashing out at her or pursuing her when she'south asked you to exit her lonely will not brand her more than inclined to give things another chance.

    Advertisement

Advertizement Starting therapy can be scary, simply we're here to help

  1. 1

    Inquire your girlfriend how you can help her feel loved. If your girlfriend is cooling off on you, it may be because she's feeling unloved herself. Communicate with her openly and inquire her what yous can do to testify amore in a way that she will appreciate.[8]

    • Every adult female is an private, so don't assume you know what your girlfriend wants or needs. She might want more concrete affection, or she may wish you'd spend more time discussing her favorite books with her. You lot won't know until you ask!

  2. ii

    Offer her sincere compliments every day. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, loved, and desired in a relationship. One way to rekindle your girlfriend'south interest in your relationship is to remind her of all the things you dearest well-nigh her.[ix]

    • Brand sure non to just focus on superficial things, similar her appearance. Your girlfriend probably appreciates hearing that you think she's beautiful, just call up to comment on who she is equally a person, also.
    • You lot could compliment her on things similar her personality, her accomplishments, or even memories of your time together and what they hateful to yous.

  3. iii

    Make romantic gestures (and non just on Valentine's Day). Think well-nigh the kinds of things you and your girlfriend did together in the early on days of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh. Doing these things again can help bring back onetime feelings and show that you are withal interested in making the relationship fun and joyful.[10]

    • For example, you might attempt surprising your girlfriend with a gift or taking her dorsum to the aforementioned place where you had your kickoff date.
    • More practical gestures can be romantic, likewise—for instance, you lot could surprise her past cooking her favorite dinner or offer to give her a massage after a long day at work.

  4. 4

    Be intimate without expecting sex . If y'all want sex activity all the time, your girlfriend might start feeling similar intimacy is a task. Give her some space, but don't hold back from offering other gestures of affection, like hugging, cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. You may notice that she becomes more interested in sex in one case you end trying to initiate it as oft.[11]

    • You may likewise find information technology helpful to accept an open up and honest talk with your girlfriend about what both of you expect from your sexual activity life. Finding out what she likes and doesn't similar can improve your intimate moments and help you connect on a deeper level.

  5. v

    Show a genuine involvement in things she cares about. Take fourth dimension to really become to know your girlfriend and become familiar with her values and interests. She'll feel a stronger and deeper connection with you lot if yous're able to evidence that you are interested in who she is every bit a person.

    • For example, you lot might ask your girlfriend questions almost the things she'south interested in. Watch movies or read books with her and then that you can discuss them together.
    • If she has whatsoever favorite hobbies, consider trying them out together.
    • Even if you lot don't find all of her interests that exciting, you lot can evidence her that yous value her by making time to listen when she wants to talk about the things she loves.

  6. 6

    Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Open up to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. If you're not used to being vulnerable, this can feel scary or uncomfortable at first. However, doing so volition help create a more meaningful connection betwixt the 2 of yous and will show your girlfriend that you lot trust her and feel at ease with her.[12]

    • Being open up and vulnerable can also assistance yous get your needs met, because your girlfriend will have an easier time agreement and empathizing with you.

    Advertisement

  1. i

    Inquire your girlfriend to attend couples counseling with you. If your relationship is really strained or stagnant and you lot aren't making much headway on your own, talk to your girlfriend almost counseling. An experienced counselor can aid you make sense of what's going wrong in your relationship and work with both of you to develop strategies for improving things.

    • Going to couples counseling is besides a skilful fashion to show your girlfriend that you are serious about making the relationship work.
    • Do an online search or ask your doctor to recommend good couples counselors in your area.
    • If physical intimacy is a big trouble in your relationship, y'all might benefit from seeing a sexual practice therapist.

  2. 2

    Go to counseling on your own if she won't go with you. If your girlfriend is unwilling to go to counseling with you, don't try to force the issue. Yous may all the same observe that you can benefit from seeing a therapist on your own, however. They can give you advice on how to arroyo your human relationship in a healthier fashion or—if necessary—to movement on.

    • Look for a therapist who has feel helping people with relationship issues. Yous might meet a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family unit therapist, or a licensed clinical social worker.

  3. 3

    Look into relationship support groups in your expanse. Back up groups can be groovy tools for helping you piece of work through your relationship challenges. Inquire your medico or therapist to recommend a support group for relationship issues in your area, or do an online search for couples support groups near you.

    • Support groups tin be led past professional counselors or completely peer-based.
    • Being with other couples facing similar challenges can assistance you gain insight into your ain situation. A group can also exist a rubber and supportive space for you lot and your girlfriend to work through your issues together.

    Advertisement

Add New Question

  • Question

    Tin a daughter fall back in dear with you while you're dating?

    Joshua Pompey

    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Proficient with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating globe. Joshua has run his ain human relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Proficient Forenoon America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the earth.

    Joshua Pompey

    Relationship Expert

    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    Absolutely. Nonetheless, if yous're in a relationship and their feelings are fluctuating dramatically from day to day, it'due south actually not a good sign. You may feel similar a 10 one day, and a ix the next twenty-four hour period, merely information technology should be moderately consistent.

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your e-mail address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Advertisement

  • If you think your girlfriend is abusive or that your human relationship has become toxic, information technology's important to leave the relationship for your ain health and safety. Don't try to stay with anyone who regularly manipulates you, insults or belittles you, attempts to control you lot, threatens you, violates your boundaries, or physically hurts you.

Advertisement

References

About This Article

Thank you to all authors for creating a page that has been read 62,847 times.

Did this article help you lot?